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Valley Metro - Mass Transit for the Phoenix Metro Area

Turn off the stupid female robot voice in Valley Metro Buses


Just what do we want to turn off?

The loud stupid annoying computer generated voices in the Phoenix area Valley Metro Buses. Hell we would be happy if they just turned down the volume of the voice so it doesn't give passengers and drivers headaches!

Why do we want to it turn off?

Because the loud stupid annoying computer generated voice gives people headaches, is annoying, and a pain in the butt.

Do as we say, not as we do!

In this ad that they put up on most of the Valley Metro buses they tell us to keep our mouths shut and keep the volume on our electronic devices set on low, but of course the idiots at Valley Metro don't follow their own advice.

The idiots at Valley Metro turn the volume up so loud that it will give you a headache when they play their stupid advertising messages.

I wonder is this some silly Federal law where they are require by law to turn up the volume so loud that deaf people can hear the messages? Or rather feel the messages thru the vibrations that shake the bus?


  This ad says:
It's OK to relive the 80's ... quietly

Please keep the volume low and wear headphones when listening to music.

Courtesy is always in style!

Valley Metro

What can you do to help turn off the voice?

Complain to OSHA

The loud annoying messages that Valley Metro bombards us with is also a danger too your hearing. Complain to OSHA or the Occupational Safety & Health Administration.

Nothing will make the bureaucrats at Valley Metro react faster then a government tyrant from Washington D.C. breathing down their back telling them that their loud messages are not only annoying, but a threat to the health, safety and welfare of the bus driver and the passengers.

You can file out this complaint form and mail it to Phoenix OSHA, or Washington D.C. OSHA at this one of these addresses or call OSHA at this toll free phone number:

U.S. Department of Labor Ė OSHA
Phoenix Federal Building
230 N. 1ST Avenue, Suite 202
Phoenix, AZ

Phone: (602)514-7250
Fax: (602)514-7251

OSHO - Occupational Safety & Health Administration
U.S. Department of Labor
200 Constitution Ave., NW
Washington, DC


You can also file a complaint on the web at this OSHA web page.

Complain to Valley Metro

Call, write, or e-mail Valley Metro and tell them to turn off the stupid female computer generated voice. They can be contacted at:

Phone: (602) 253-5000
Mail: Valley Metro
302 N 1st Ave
Phoenix, AZ 85003

Complain to an elected government nanny

It usually is more effective to write government rulers and complain and bitch. By that I mean elected officials like the member of the Phoenix, Tempe, and Mesa city councils. They worry about getting re-elected and will push buttons to make things look better although they really donít give a krap if the fix something or not they just want to get re-elected.



What can you do to get other people to help?

Down load this word document named turn-it-off.doc and print out a bunch of copies and hand them out to other people asking that they complain to Valley Metro.

I am a bus driver. What can I do to help?

  1. You can turn the stupid obnoxious loud computerized voice on your bus.

    The complete un-official instructions are at how-to.html

    But a quick summary of how to turn off the stupid computerized voice is:

    1. Hit the F2 key on the screen
    2. Hit the AM key on the screen

    Now look at the message on the screen. It should toggle from

     Mode: Auto
     Mode: Manual
    At this point the stupid lady will stop her endless loud mouthed jabbering and you can drive you bus in peace and let your passengers ride in peace!

  2. Down load this manual that the City of Tempe gave me but didn't bother to give to you bus drivers. It is a public document anyone can get by making a request per A.R.S. 39-121 to the City of Tempe. It contains all kinds of information that is very useful. It is Microsoft Word document so you have to have Microsoft Word or some other product that allows you to read Word files installed and enabled to view it. If you don't have Microsoft Word you can save the document to you disk as a file and take it to somewhere where you have word. The file is fairly large. It is 2,587K bytes.

    Pages 51 thru 56 contain some interesting information about the VMS system which controls the loud obnoxious female voice which announces the bus stops.

  3. Down load this word document named turn-it-off.doc and print out a bunch of copies and hand leave them on your bus. Ask other bus drivers to help. Caution I don't know if they can punish you for doing this. Check with your union or emplyment rules.

I can read and write Spanish. Can I help?

Damn right you can help. I need somebody to make up a version of the flyer in Spanish. That way one side of the flyer can be in Español and the other side in good old English. The words don't have to be the same. You just have to write in Spanish that the voice sucks and needs to be shut off. Also 4 of them must fit on an 8 and a half by 11 piece of paper. E-mail me a the Spanish version to me at:

Is that Computer Voice Driving You Nuts?

Is that loud annoying computer generated female voice that announces the next bus stop every 6 seconds driving you crazy? Do you have a headache when you get off the bus?

Complain! Tell Valley Metro that they need to turn off the stupid voice or give us aspirins along with a transfer slip.

Think us passengers got it bad? The drivers have to put it with it 8 to 12 hours a day. They probably all have migraine headaches at the end of the day and run over a few extra people each day because of the stress. Help your driver and demand that Valley Metro turn off the stupid computer generated voices.

Complain to Valley Metro at:

Phone: (602) 253-5000
Mail: Valley Metro
302 N 1st Ave
Phoenix, AZ 85003


Want to print some of these out to hand out to other bus riders? Click on turn-it-off.doc to download a word file that can be printed.

A little credit is to do the idiots at Valley Metro

Well I should give the idiots at Valley Metro some credit. Since I first complained about this problem the volume of the computerized GPS system has been lowered so it doesn't give me or the drivers headaches.

And at the current volume level the system is actually nice. I don't hate it.

But the next problem is who every programmed the system was a f*cking idiot!!!!. And who every bought it at Valley Metro was also a f*cking idiot!

The biggest problem is that the bus routes can not be updated easily. It looks like a technician has to reprogramm each and every computer in each and every bus every time a bus stop is changed that that bus uses.

Also there are a large number of bus stops that are programmed incorrectly. For example the 65 bus when it is at Apache and Mill in Tempe announces that the next stop is Kiwanas Park and Ash Avenue when that location is 3 and a half miles to the south.

Also the system is f*cked up because when buses go on detour the stops can't be reprogrammed.

There are several types of detours. The first is regular detours. For example Tempe Town lake frequently has events at it and the 66, 76, 56 and a few other buses go on detours which are the same all the time. The buses do not call the correct stops when on these detours.

The second type of detour is long term detours. For example because of the stupid light rail project many buses are on long term detours. Again the system is does not handle these long term detours. For example all the 72 buses for a while stopped going to College Avenue in Tempe, but all the othe buses still announced that the 72 bus would be stopping on College at at its regular stop.


Valley Metro screws up Light Rail with annoying obnoxious and loud audio messages


Donít poop on the train

Well the idiots at Valley Metro didnít learn their lesion from the obnoxious, loud and annoying voice messages they were subjecting their bus passengers to.

You guessed it as soon as light rail started up they started bombarding light rail passengers with loud, obnoxious, annoying and stupid audio messages on the train.

Come on give me a break! These messages are really stupid!

  • Donít poop on the train
  • Donít have sex with your girlfriendís sister on the train
  • Donít vandalize the train (itís a criminal offense)
  • Donít flirt with the conductor of the train
  • Donít drink beer or liquor on the train
  • Donít smoke on the train
  • Donít pee on the train
  • Donít have sex with your pet dog or cat on the train!
  • Donít punch the light rail narc when he asks you for your ticket

OK I made most of the stupid messages up to be funny but the idiots at Valley Metro really did broadcast these X stupid messages from above!

  • Donít vandalize the train (itís a criminal offense)
  • Donít drink beer or liquor on the train
  • Donít smoke on the train

It only took the idiots at Valley Metro a few months to realize that their annoying, stupid, obnoxious and loud messages were bothering their passengers in addition to giving them headaches. And they removed them.


Valley Metro Fares Skyrocket Because of Light Rail


Fare goes from $1.25 to $5.25! That's outrageous!

In the short time of a year and a half the cost of riding a Valley Metro bus has skyrocketed from a $1.25 to $5.25

Up till November 30, 2008 you could ride a Valley Metro bus for $1.25 which included two hours or more of transfer travel after you got off the bus you originally boarded.

On December 1, 2008 the price of one trip on a Valley Metro bus jumped from $1.25 for a ride which included transfers to $1.25 for a single trip on that bus. If you wanted to have transfers you had to buy an all day pass for $2.50.

On July 1, 2009 the price of an all day pass sky rocked from $2.50 to an outrageous $5.25. You can do a little better if you buy the ticket in advance for $3.50 but that is still outrageous for a bus fare.

Hey itís a white lie! Honest!

The Valley Metro propaganda on the huge fare increases says it is due to lower sales tax revenue. That is a big, big, stinking lie! The amount of sales tax collected has absolutely nothing to do with the price of riding the bus.

The agreement that most government entities that run bus services have with the federal government is the feds pay 75 percent of the operating costs of the bus service and the passengers are expected to pay the other 25 percent of the operating costs. Basically this means the feds subsidize 75 percent of the cost and the passengers only pay 25 percent of what it costs to run the buses.

Light rail is extremely more expensive to operate per passenger mile then buses. One estimate is that it costs 10 times a much to move a passenger on light rail as it does on a bus.

That is the real reason the cost of bus fares was sky rocketed, was because of the huge increase in expenses due to light rail.

What happens now is bus passengers are effectively subsidizing the fare of the light rail passengers.

The piece of junk $10,000 fare boxes!

One other reason for the huge increase in bus fares is because Valley Metro spent $10 million ($10,000 per bus) to install junky new computerized fare boxes on all its buses. The fare boxes donít work worth a krap and lose money hand over fist!

Problem one. In the old days if you had $1.25 in pennies you could throw it into a bowl on the fare box and the fare box would count the money you tossed in a split second and tell the driver how much you paid.

With the new computerized piece of krap fare boxes you have to shove your $5.25 worth of pennies in one penny at a time which takes several minutes. When you do that the driver often lets you ride for free because he doesnít want the bus to be late.

Problem two. The new computerized piece of junk fare boxes often donít recognized dollar bills or coins and when that happens the drive often lets you ride for free.

Problem three. The new computerized piece of krap fare boxes only accept one or two dollars bills. If you have a five or ten dollar bill the driver will often let you ride for free.

Problem four. You can only pay for one fare at a time. In the old days if you wanted to pay for the fare of 4 people you would just throw $5 in the fare box. The new computerized piece of junk fare boxes only let you pay for one person at a time.

Problem five. The printer that prints the all day passes often jams up. When this happens the driver lets people ride for free!

Problem six. The fare box software uses Microsoft software (CE) and guess what, like all Microsoft products it frequently takes a dive and goes south. And when this happens the driver again lets the passengers ride for free!


Donít those idiots at Valley Metro learn from their past mistakes?



The reason I created this web page was because when the idiots at Valley Metro installed their $10,000 GPS computers which work some of the time and donít work a lot of the other times they had a loud annoying voice that would announce your location or alleged location. It gave me headaches and I figured it was even worse for the drivers because they had to listen to the loud annoying voice all day!

Over time the idiots at Valley Metro figured out their loud obnoxious voice messages were driving their customers nuts.

What happened when light rail came along? The idiots at Valley Metro started bombarding light rail passengers with lout obnoxious messages that drove light rail passengers nuts.

After time the idiots at Valley Metro removed the loud obnoxious messages from the light rail trains.

And of course to punish us passengers twice, one by raising the price of bus fare from$1.25 to $5.25 and second they are having loud obnoxious messages on the bus system again.

The messages are really stupid. Like buy your fare in advance and it will cost you less. Or you now have to have id to get use a reduced fare pass. F* You Valley Metro! I know that! Donít give me a head ache telling me again!

Light rail rules are different for English and Spanish speaking people!

Hmmm! The Valley Metro light rail rules of counduct are different for English speaking people and Spanish speaking people?

I wonder why are Valley Metro employees a bunch of racists who think Spanish speaking people are second class citizens? Maybe.

Check out this article on how the light rail conduct are different for English and Spanish speakers.

Some interesting facts on light rail

Here are some light rail facts. While the government bureaucrats that run most light rail systems claim that light rail will solve all the world's problems, in reality light rail is a very expensive, inefficient form of transportation that creates more problems then it solves.

Valley Metro Gun Grabbers

Bus riders are allowed to keep and bear arms on Valley Metro buses. But despite it's policy of allowing bus riders to carry weapons Valley Metro has an unofficial policy of attempting to keep people from taking their guns on buses.

Homeless in Arizona

More on that guy who is homeless in Arizona.

The Jerk

I really don't know where else to put this so I will put it here.

All of those know at least one person who is a complete jerk and whose only place on earth is to make life difficult for other people, mainly you and me.

And as it is those people don't usually consider themselves jerks, but they usually think of themselves as God's gift to mankind. Life if full of oxymorons.

Where is a story about one of those jerks. I will leave the guy's or the girl's name off of the article to prevent the guilty from being punished.

Here are all the images used on this web site.