Valley Metro - Phoenix Metro Bus Transportation

The Jerk


The Jerk is God's gift to mankind!!

At least that is what the Jerk thinks!!!!

Sadly the people who are the worst *ssholes in the world usually are clueless about the fact that they are *ssholes, and oddly they think they are God's gift to mankind, instead of being a punishment God sent to mankind. This jerk isn't any different.

The Jerk is isn't a racist

The Jerk claims to love everybody in mankind and certainly isn't a racist. He loves Blacks, Mexicans, Jews, and Orientals.

Of course that is what the Jerk claims. If you bring up the subject of Blacks, Mexicans, Jews, or Orientals the Jerk always swears he loves them. But the Jerk can always find at least 50 negative things to says about Blacks, Mexicans, Jews, or Orientals and why they are a burden to us White folks and why they should be sent back to where ever they came from.

Honest, the Jerk is not a racist. He says so him self.

Of course every once in a while the Jerk will admit that he hates everybody on the planet. With that in mind, maybe he isn't a racist and hates Blacks, Mexicans, Jews, and Orientals just as much as he hates White folks.

The Jerk is against violence

Well OK, the Jerk is only against violence when people don't deserve it.

The Jerk beats his wife and his dogs whenever they deserve it. Of course there is a big difference between beating somebody just for fun as opposed to when they deserve it.

The Jerk hates orientals because they treat animals mean, but it's different when the Jerk beats his dogs. His dogs deserved it.

The Jerk hates leaches

Did the jerk really say that? I am not sure? Maybe the jerk hates people who hate leaches! I don't know. Sometimes I get this stuff mixed up.

The Jerk hasn't had a full time job in years

When I first came to the jerks house he told me something like he was a male version of a housewife. He stays home while his wife supports him.

Of course he doesn't have any chores to do at home. By staying home he mostly watches TV and works out. And of course goes to a number of breakfast, lunch and dinner clubs, which of course are paid for by his working wife.

Life must be fun when you don't have to work, and when your wife pays for all you meals and entertainment expenses.

Is the Jerk gay???

First of all I don't have anything against gay people. What you do in your sex life isn't any of my business. And I could care less what your sexual orientation is.

So of course I won't pick on the Jerk if he is gay.

But I the Jerk is gay I will pick on him for cheating on his wife, and getting his wife support him while he has all his gay affairs while she is at work.

First of all I don't have a shred of evidence that the Jerk is gay. But there is a lot of circumstantial evidence that the Jerk is gay, and has gay affairs at home while his wife is at work supporting him.

His gay connections

The Jerk talks about his "gay connections" all the time. Again that doesn't mean the Jerk is gay, it just says that the Jerk knows and hangs out with a lot of gay folks.

Of course there is nothing wrong with gay folks, or gay sex, but I am sure his wife would be real angry if she found out he was having a bunch of gay affairs at home, while she is at work supporting him.

The Jerk claims he attends all the "gay functions" for business reasons to meet new clients to sell stuff to.

Of course the Jerk hasn't made any sales in years to either his straight or gay business connections, and I think that the Jerk just uses his alleged work at home job to make his wife think he is working.

The casting couch!!!

The Jerk has a bed in his office. I didn't think anything of it at first, but I wonder if he uses it to have affairs with gay men he meets?

Again I have not seen a shred of evidence that the guy is having sex with gay men, but I just wonder if he is because of all the other circumstantial evidence floating around.

Again even if the Jerk is the most handsome gay stud in the world and is considered a gay goddess I don't have a problems with that.

But I suspect his wife would be angry if she finds out that she works all day supporting him, while he has affairs with gay men.

Mmmmm Fish for Dinner

Look I love fish. I absolutely love fish for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Of course if you are allergic to fish I can understand why you don't eat fish.

Now what gets me is that when ever the Jerk has parties he buys large quantities of fish for his guests to eat. Of course that is for all of the guests to eat except his wife who is allergic to fish.

I find that rather annoying. His wife works and pays for all this food, but the jerk mostly buys food she can't eat, i.e. fish, because she is allergic to fish. Man, the Jerk is really a jerk.

The Jerk is a socialist

I guess if you are a lazy bum and don't like working a socialist country is the ideal place for you to live.

And if you don't live in a socialist country the next best thing to do is to support socialist politicians because they will steal money from the rich and give it to you to live on.

And in America those socialist politicians are called Democrats.

Of course the Jerk loves Democrats and hates Republicans. I suspect that is because the Democrats want to turn America into a socialist state where people like the Jerk won't have to work and can be leaches and get the rich Republicans to support them.

Remember the Jerk is half way there. Currently the Jerk has not worked for years and I suspect he doen't have plans to for for as long as possible.

This is all possible because the Jerk's wife works and the Jerk's wife supports him and pays the Jerk's bills.

Tax the rich, tax the rich!!!!

The Jerk really seems to love the "Occupy Wall Street" movement.

Again I suspect is because most of the folks in the "Occupy Wall Street" are lazy bums who don't want to work and think that they have a God given right to live off of the earnings of rich people.

I got news for Jerk, even if him and is "Occupy Wall Street" buddies kill these rich people and steal there money there ain't going to be enough money to go around and make all the "Occupy Wall Street" folks rich.

Yes a socialist government will steal from the rich and make life a little better for the lazy socialist "Occupy Wall Street" bums who don't want to work. But the real way to raising your living standard is thru hard work, not stealing the money from some rich guy.

Use your turn signals or I will kill you

When it come to OTHER people obeying traffic laws and the jerk a big fan of law and order.

The Jerk carries a sign around in his car that says something like "F*ck you *sshole - Use your turn signals".

It is really an interesting sight when the Jerk notices some poor slob that didn't use their turn signal or committed some other major traffic felony in the eyes of the Jerk.

The Jerk will honk his horn nonstop. Then its get out the sign and wave it at the poor slob who committed the traffic felon, while the Jerk yells at the poor person.

Many times the Jerk will call 911 to report one of these folks who didn't use their turn signals to the police.

My biggest fear when I am driving with the Jerk is that I will get killed in a traffic accident cause by the Jerk as he is cussing out people for not driving safely.

Well, that or getting shot by some other *sshole who doesn't like being cursed at by the Jerk for not using the their turn signals.

The Jerk is the Master of the Universe

The Jerk will talk for hours on how every on the planet should be equal. But that is just all talk. When the pedal hits the metal the Jerks is the master the universe and you better remember it.

I have been places with the Jerk where the Jerk will order people to stop talking on their cell phones, stop their text messaging or stop talking because the Jerk doesn't like it.

If it were me I probably would ask the Jerk if he thinks he owns the Universe.

I would suspect the Jerk would reply "Yes I do own the f*cking Universe, now shut up and do as I ordered you to do".

TV shows that star the Jerk

A number of TV shows have characters in them that resemble the Jerk.


Tony Shalhoub as 'Adrian Monk' in Monk On TV show is "Monk" where the star is Tony Shalhoub as "Adrian Monk". The Jerk doesn't like it because "Adrian Monk" has a lot of nutty characteristics like the Jerk has.

The Jerk doesn't like it because when people laugh at "Adrian Monk" nutty behavior the Jerk thinks people are laughing at him.

Well I guess the Jerk is right!

Well as least "Adrian Monk" isn't a flaming *sshole like the Jerk is. "Adrian Monk" just has a lot of nutty habits like the Jerk has.

Curb Your Enthusiasm

Larry David in 'Curb Your Enthusiasm' Larry David in "Curb Your Enthusiasm" is a outspoken, neurotic, argumentative, mean spirited, insulting and unhappy old man. The Jerk is pretty much is a carbon copy clone of Larry David. Of course the Jerk is real, while Larry David is a fictional person.

Again the Jerk doesn't like "Curb Your Enthusiasm" because he seems to think when people are a laughing at the mean spirited and irrational things that Larry David does in the show they are laughing at the Jerk.

Of course the Jerk is right, because the Jerk is a carbon copy clone of Larry David.

Sadly some of these fictional lunatic nut jobs you see on TV shows actually exist in real life. And the Jerk is a perfect example of one of them.

Sadly Larry David is a nice guy compared to the Jerk.

Do as I say, not as I do

If a couple of us are talking while we are watching TV the Jerk won't think anything of ordering us to all shut up so he can hear the TV show, after all the Jerk is the most important person in the Universe.

Of course if the Jerk has something to say he won't hesitate to say it an prevent the rest of us from hearing the TV show.

Yes, Jerks do have double standards. This may be confusing when you are around people like the Jerk. But you will quickly figure out what is right and wrong by this simple rule.

The Jerk is always right. Everybody else is always wrong.
OK, I don't agree with that, but I am sure that is how the Jerk feels.

Women should shut up and do as they are told

Looks that's not my philosophy. But I suspect that is the philosophy of the jerk.

The Jerk doesn't work and the Jerk's wife works full time to support the Jerk.

Despite the the Jerk thinks that his wife is his slave.

One day I was going somewhere with the Jerk and we had to take his wife's car there.

We drove about a block before the Jerk realized his wife's car was low on gas.

I was shocked when we went back to the Jerk's home where the Jerk proceeded to give his wife a verbal beating for commiting the sin of not keeping her gas tank full so her Jerk husband could drive it with out stopping by a gas station and refueling the car.

Wow! Talking about biting the hand that feeds you. Of course the Jerk will probably think I am insulting his wife for not filling up the gas tank.

No I am insulting the Jerk for thinking his wife is his slave.

Of course it makes things even worse because the Jerks wife supports him.

If I was the Jerks wife I would tell the Jerk to get lost and dump him. Also she gets for supporting him is insults and abuse.

The Jerk is an equal opportunity *sshole!

I just made fun of the Jerk for treating his wife like a slave, but I should not that the Jerk pretty much is an equal opportunity *sshole and treats everybody like krap.

I should know, he treats me almost as bad as he treats his wife.

The Jerk is always ordering me around. The Jeri is always insulting me. The Jerk is always abusing me. I guess the good think you can say is that the Jerk treats everybody equally bad.

Oh, well at least you can't say that I didn't say anything good about the jerk.